War in the Middle East: How to talk to children about the conflict? What can we explain to them?

Iran, Gaza, Ukraine… Armed conflicts are making headlines, and it’s difficult for the younger generation to avoid them. So, how can we talk to children about war without worrying them too much? How can we find the right words to describe the international situation? We asked a specialist.

The war in the Middle East and its consequences are on everyone’s minds. From Iran’s attacks on its neighbors to Israeli bombings in Lebanon, to French tourists stranded far from home, and the rising gas prices… It’s hard to escape the international news, its ups and downs, and its violence.

The images and words can be tough for adult eyes and ears, let alone for children. For the youngest ones, this information can lead to questions, confusion, and even stress and anxiety.

“Will the war come back? What do we do if planes drop bombs on us? If we hide in the bedroom closet, do you think the soldiers will find us?” It’s not always easy to find the right words to answer children’s questions about war.

Éric Bui, a psychiatrist and a global expert on post-traumatic stress syndrome, who teaches at the University of Caen, gives us some advice on how to address children in these troubled times.

France 3: What to do when a child expresses fear of a war breaking out? Éric Bui: What we hear is that they are worried, scared, and they have every right to feel that way. It’s important to listen to them and not deny their feelings. When there’s war, it’s dangerous, and of course, it can be scary. It’s essential to reassure them about the here and now. For example, telling them: “Here, you are safe, there are people working every day to prevent war where we are today,” helping them understand that we are here to protect them and that other adults are also here to protect the children.

Can we really explain the situation to children, tell them the truth? Éric Bui: There’s no point in hiding what’s going on. Children can sense and hear it. People around them may talk about it cynically, but they talk about it. Let’s not forget that children are sponges. They can also feel our own worry. We need to gently tell them the truth, so the parent can keep their composure and reassure them.

However, we must be careful not to be alarmist, it’s not good either because then we unload our own worries onto the child. We need to be cautious not to emotionally bomb the child with our own fears.

“If there’s war, there’s war. And if it happens, we are here to protect you. It’s important to explain that adults are here to protect children. What we must not transmit to them is a sense of helplessness: not ‘it’s going to happen, we won’t know what to do.’ Instead: ‘if it happens, people will know what to do, and we will protect you.'” – Éric Bui, psychiatrist and global expert on post-traumatic stress syndrome

Éric Bui: It’s also normal. I would say that the worst scenario would be if parents are afraid, it shows, and they hide it, not explaining their fears to the children. It’s better to wait for the child not to be present to discuss the topic among adults, in a couple, for example. I would say that adults can “freak out behind closed doors,” but not in front of the child.

Should we turn off the TV during the news when we are with children? Éric Bui: Not necessarily, because the news “protects” people, it says “Attention, there are sensitive images.” This message is not for nothing, it’s for parents to say: “At this moment, I will protect my child.”

What’s more complicated is what circulates on the internet and is not filtered by the media. A child can surf alone or with parents, and a page opens without warning with inappropriate images. This is not well controlled, and it’s necessary to be extra vigilant.

This article was first published in March 2025.