The floor is yours

In immediate appearance, dealing with urban petty crime on a chain, we often hear the words “theft” and “drugs”, we don’t always speak French and we usually end up in jail. A swift justice system that this column captures in a moment.

Toulouse, immediate appearance chamber, February 2026 Kenneth T., 45, appears for cannabis use and possession of a gun. After receiving an anonymous tip claiming he was a drug wholesaler, the police broke down his door with a battering ram and proceeded to carry out a search that allowed them to discover 7 grams of cannabis resin. The president finishes summarizing the file: “You spontaneously told the police that you had a gun under your mattress. You bought it because you were afraid after being assaulted: five hooded men attacked you and stole everything you had on you. Where did the money come from that you used to buy the gun?” – “I sold a gold chain.” – “But where did this chain come from?” – “I had brought it back from Suriname. I had saved some money and bought gold, I arrived with it.” She moves on to the personal details provided by social services: “You have seven children, from different women: they are between 1 and 27 years old, and two of them are under your care. You sort packages in a company and earn between 1,400 and 1,500 euros net per month. Your record has five mentions, three of which are for drug matters.” The prosecutor recites the usual text – “The gentleman does not seem to understand the seriousness of what he is accused of” – before asking for 18 months in prison with a warrant.

The lawyer jumps to the bar for his plea and starts to exaggerate: “I keep receiving phone calls from his children’s various mothers! One thing can be recognized: he knows how to stay close to his ex-partners…” Returning to the case, he points out that the investigation has still not identified the attackers of his client: “He was beaten with the butt of a gun in his own parking lot, he was afraid for his life. He bought a gun to defend himself. There is no history of violence on his criminal record. He is a law-abiding man: his partner is present in the room; his employer is happy with him. All this energy would be called into question because of a brand new gun, never used! I don’t have a gun, but if I had one and someone broke into my house, I wouldn’t hesitate. But that’s a different debate, a debate that concerns the right to property, the right everyone has to defend themselves against intruders!” After this statement on self-defense matters, he revisits the reasons why the defendant had gold jewelry: “It’s quite cultural in that population. In Suriname or Guadeloupe, in those places, people have a particular relationship with gold.” Judging this point clarified, the lawyer sits back down. Kenneth T. is sentenced to six months in prison without a warrant – the judge will decide how they will be carried out; and six months of probation with the obligation to work and undergo treatment.

“The Sellette” Find more columns on the website: lasellette.org

“This fantastic article is finished. We hope you enjoyed it.” We are CQFD, voted several times as the “best newspaper in Marseille of the World” by fiercely impartial juries. We have been around for over twenty years, barking in kiosks with total independence. The downside is that we operate on a shoestring budget and the financial situation of pirate newspapers like ours is becoming increasingly difficult: the sale of paper newspapers is not exactly thriving yet, nor has it reached the highly stylish vintage stage. So, if you want this newspaper to continue to exist and dream of boosting your libertarian karma, we need you: subscribe, tell your aunts and canaries, buy us in kiosks, share us at protests, cafes, libraries or bookstores, promote us online, share our Instagram posts, support us, donate to us, buy our t-shirts, our books, or simply send us supportive kisses because the cold and insidious wind blows.” All of this happens here: SUBSCRIPTION and here: HELLO ASSO PAGE. Thank you a thousand times for your support!