Dare to take your place internationally: between identity, posture… and limits

Last week, during the FemmExpat x Capuana Voyages workshops, many of you met, connected from the four corners of the world, around a theme as vast as it is essential: daring to take your place internationally.

Behind this expression, each puts a different reality. For some, taking your place means finding professional activity, financial autonomy, a structuring framework. For others, it’s feeling legitimate in a new country, existing other than as a “spouse”. And for many, it also means learning to live in a different culture, without fading away.

Two workshops, two angles, but the same common question: how to remain ourselves, when everything is changing around us?

When leaving also means getting lost a little

In the morning, the discussions delved into the heart of what expatriation profoundly disrupts: our identity. Because behind the departure, the boxes, the new schools and the new benchmarks, there is often something more invisible, but just as structuring: the loss, temporary or lasting, of what we defined until then.

A job, a salary, social recognition… The words of the participants were direct, without detour: “It’s very difficult… not to have a job, not to have a salary, not to have autonomy. HAS”

In these moments, it is not just an organization of life that falters. It’s a part of yourself. So this question emerged: who am I, here, now?

The dizziness of the in-between

Many have described this hesitation. This feeling of being “between two†, of no longer really knowing how to present ourselves, or what place we occupy. A form of vertigo, often amplified by the gaze of others, by this simple and yet destabilizing question:  and what do you do? »

And yet, over the course of the exchanges, another reading emerged. What if this moment of emptiness was also an opportunity? An opportunity to get back to basics, to redefine oneself other than by a role or a status.

“I don’t define myself by a function. I am me, above all. HAS”

Reinvent yourself, without necessarily rebuilding everything

This shift is subtle, but powerful. It is no longer just a question of “doing”, but of embodying. To find a more internal form of anchoring, less dependent on the outside. This work on posture, the way we perceive ourselves, the way we tell ourselves, the way we position ourselves, then becomes central. Because in expatriation, the path is rarely linear. It is often built by adjustments, by tests, by small steps. And it is precisely in these spaces of exploration that something new can emerge.

Move forward… differently

So what to do, concretely, when everything seems to need to be rebuilt? Throughout the discussions, simple but essential ideas emerged. Not as ready-made solutions, but as benchmarks for moving forward differently.

First accept that what you are going through is part of the process. That there are phases of mourning, adaptation, reconstruction and that they are not always experienced in order, nor at the same pace.

Also continue to move forward, even without mastering everything. Do not give up on your deep desires, even if they take another form. Some spoke of the importance of exploring differently: getting involved in volunteering, training, launching a personal project, testing without necessarily knowing where it will lead.

Little by little, another way of working takes hold. Softer, more flexible. Less linear. We learn to deal with different temporalities, to adapt to constraints, but also to create our own opportunities, rather than waiting for an already existing framework to present itself. Because in expatriation, the path is almost never completely mapped out. And this is also what makes it rich.

When culture shakes up everything

The afternoon added another dimension, just as essential: that of meeting another culture. Because once we begin to find inner balance, another challenge arises. That of everyday life, of interactions, of differences that are sometimes invisible but deeply destabilizing.

The relationship with time, with communication, with commitment, with relationships… so many codes which change from one country to another, and which can shake up our most anchored habits. Some participants put this feeling in very apt words:

“I feel like I’m somewhere in between… not really from here, not really from there. HAS”

Adapt… until you forget yourself?

This feeling is all the more disturbing because it can appear even in countries that we thought were “close”. As if the supposed familiarity made the shift even more difficult to accept. Faced with this, many adopt an almost automatic reflex: adapt. Make an effort, understand, adjust, smooth out. But over time, something becomes exhausted. Because constantly adapting can lead, without us realizing it, to fading away.

Say no, to finally take your place

This is where another learning emerges: that of setting your limits. Not in opposition to the culture of others, but as an act of self-respect. One participant expressed it simply: “I dared to say no… and I felt that this was taking my place. HAS”

Say no to certain situations, refuse certain compromises, choose what you accept and what you no longer want to accept.

Finding the balance, between openness and anchoring

It’s not about choosing between adapting or remaining yourself. It’s about finding a balance. A space in which we can welcome difference, learn, evolve… without giving up what is essential for us.

“It’s not letting go of your values, it’s adapting your behavior. HAS”

You are not alone

Another key message from these workshops: what you experience is shared. Isolation, doubts, loss of confidence, feeling out of place… so many common experiences, even if they often remain invisible.

“You are not alone. This is a situation that many women experience. HAS”

And that is precisely why these spaces exist. To put words, share, standardize… and move forward together.

Oser in lumière

Perhaps, behind all these questions of space, there is also something deeper hidden. Not just the fear of not succeeding… but sometimes the fear of daring to fully be yourself.

As Marianne Williamson rightly reminds us:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are not good enough.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. (…)
And letting our own light shine,
we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. HAS”

Taking your place is perhaps not just about adapting, rebuilding yourself or setting limits. It’s also daring to show yourself fully.

What if taking your place was first of all choosing yourself?

Basically, these workshops remind us of an essential thing: taking your place internationally is not a fixed objective. It’s a path. A path where we learn, little by little, to redefine ourselves without reducing ourselves, to adapt without betraying ourselves, to set our limits without cutting ourselves off from others. A demanding, sometimes uncomfortable path…but profoundly transformative.

And above all, to recognize that we are not alone in going through these stages. Because behind each journey, there are echoes, resonances, shared experiences. This is the strength of these meetings: creating spaces where we can say, hear, understand… and move forward, together.

The next Well-Being Meetings are coming soon… so many opportunities to continue these exchanges and move forward, together, in your expatriate journey.

To register for the next workshops…: The Well-being Meetings of FemmExpat and Capuana Voyages

These wellness appointments are carried out with the support of…Capuana Travel.

Capuana Voyages creates experiences dedicated to French speakers living abroad. The agency designs trips on a human scale, combining well-being, personal development and meetings, in inspiring settings around the world.

The offer is structured around two main ways of traveling.

On the one hand,…shared stays, which bring together an international community of French speakers around strong experiences: the…Voyages Entre Nous, focused on meeting and bonding, the…Capuana Voyages Retreats, true well-being immersions guided by experts, and the… Bootcamps, designed for entrepreneurs and managers in search of clarity, momentum and transformation.

On the other hand, private stays, designed to offer a completely personalized experience: tailor-made trips, designed according to your desires and your pace, as well as personal well-being programs, designed as true individual support.

Each experience is designed to promote reconnection with oneself, the quality of exchanges and the emergence of new perspectives. An inspiring setting, a human and demanding approach, and a vision of travel as a real lever for transformation.

Upcoming workshops

Thursday May 28
2:00 p.m. – Emotional nutrition in expatriates – when food becomes a refuge
4:30 p.m. – Emotional nutrition in expatriates – when food becomes a refuge

Thursday June 11
7:00 a.m. – Investing from abroad (without putting yourself in danger)
2:30 p.m. – Investing from abroad (without putting yourself in danger)