- Pop culture is full of love triangles and never ceases to fascinate fans of novels, series or films.
- These relational dynamics fuel numerous intrigues and give the feeling of being passionate and romantic.
- In reality, love triangles are not healthy, they are toxic relationships that impact the mental health of everyone involved.
Whether in literature, series or cinema, the love triangle has always been particularly romanticized and fascinates the collective imagination. “Jules et Jim”, “César et Rosalie”, “Cyrano de Bergerac”, “Twilight”… pop culture is full of romantic dilemmas and passionate tensions, like the “Bridget Jones” franchise: the love triangle once formed by Renée Zellweger, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant remains iconic. In real life, far from fiction, love triangles are not romantic. On the contrary, they are toxic for the three protagonists and can seriously impact mental health.
What is a love triangle?
This is a relationship dynamic in which three people are involved and no, this is not a case of polyamory or a couple. As Céline Vendé, couples therapist and sexologist, explains to the magazine Cosmopolitan
: “This can be rivalry, with two people competing for the love and affection of a third. This can manifest as indecision, with one person being the center and having feelings for two other people, and then it can also be a secret, extra-marital relationship.
“. In summary: the love triangle is neither consensual nor consented, unlike polyamory where the people involved are all aware of the dynamics of the relationship.
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Why are love triangles harmful to mental health?
“Feeling desired by several people at once can increase self-confidence and even help strengthen the ego
“, explains American sexologist Laura Vowels to Cosmopolitan UK
. This is perhaps the explanation behind this desire not to choose between two suitors. But this selfish search hides an emotionally exhausting and destructive reality. “There are emotional consequences to being in a love triangle, because it’s an emotional roller coaster for everyone involved
“, détaille Céline Vendé à Cosmopolitan
: jealousy, emotional insecurity, unsaid things, conflicts, fear of losing your loved one. In the person who is cheating, they may feel shame and guilt.
Furthermore, the protagonists of a love triangle can carry the after-effects of this toxic dynamic long after the end of this relationship. Indeed, it can affect self-esteem and self-confidence and lead to trust and communication problems in subsequent relationships. “We can also be heartbroken, heartbroken when the love triangle breaks out
“, ajoute Céline Vendé.
In addition, this dynamic can also push the protagonists to reproduce this repetitive pattern, driven by a taste for adventure, the forbidden and temptation. It can also lead to problems of emotional dependence or the belief of not deserving full love or an exclusive relationship. “Often, people who have low self-esteem or who don’t feel worthy of someone’s love settle for being around rather than having an exclusive relationship with someone
“. To get out of this pattern and dynamic, it is essential to consult a therapist or mental health professional. The goal? Understand what the people involved are looking for: to satisfy their ego? Looking for validation or excitement? “The therapy will allow each of the people involved to clarify their expectations and needs in order to be able to make a decision or choice.
“The therapy will also help”think about this quest for excitement, for discovery, for secrecy, which will be very strong, but at the same time very unstable
“.
